HUMOUR

It's not only work and knowledge! 

Humour, plays a big part on the hospitality industry.

Linguistic humour, Foreign hotel signs

FROM A SIGN IN A HOSTEL IN FINLAND (via David Richerby):
If you cannot reach a fire exit, close the door and expose yourself at the window.

FROM A BROCHURE OF A CAR RENTAL FIRM IN TOKYO:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

IN A TOKYO HOTEL:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing please not to read notis.

IN A JAPANESE HOTEL ROOM:
Please to Bathe inside the tub.

IN A BUCHAREST HOTEL LOBBY:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

IN A LEIPZIG ELEVATOR:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

IN A BELGRADE HOTEL ELEVATOR:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

IN A PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

IN A HOTEL IN ATHENS:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 A.M. and 11 A.M. daily.

IN A YUGOSLOVIAN HOTEL:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

IN A JAPANESE HOTEL:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

IN THE LOBBY OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ACROSS FROM A RUSSIAN ORTHODOX MONASTERY:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

IN AN AUSTRIAN HOTEL CATERING TO SKIERS:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the house of repose in the boots of ascension.

ON THE MENU OF A SWISS RESTAURANT:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

ON THE MENU OF A POLISH HOTEL:
Salad a firm's own make, limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger, roasted duck let loose, beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

IN A HONG KONG SUPERMARKET:
For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.

OUTSIDE A HONG KONG TAILOR SHOP:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

IN A BANGKOK DRY CLEANERS:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

OUTSIDE A PARIS DRESS SHOP:
Dresses for street walking.

IN A RHODES TAILOR SHOP:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation.

FROM THE SOVIET WEEKLY:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic Painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

IN AN EAST AFRICAN NEWSPAPER:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

IN A VIENNA HOTEL:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm ther hotel porter.

A SIGN POSTED IN GERMANY'S BLACK FOREST:
It is strictly forbidden in our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

IN A ZURICH HOTEL:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

IN AN ADVERTISEMENT BY A HONG KONG DENTIST:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

IN A ROME LAUNDRY:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the rest of the afternoon having a good time.

IN A CZECHOSLOVAKIAN TOURIST AGENCY:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

ADVERTISEMENT FOR DONKEY RIDES IN THAILAND:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

IN THE WINDOW OF A SWEDISH FURRIER:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

ON THE BOX OF A TOY MADE IN HONG KONG:
Guranteed to work throughout it's useful life.

DETOUR SIGN IN KYUSHI, JAPAN:
Stop: Drive Sideways.

IN A SWISS MOUNTAIN INN:
Special today: no ice cream.

IN A BANGKOK TEMPLE:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

IN A TOKYO BAR:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

IN A COPENHAGEN AIRLINE TICKET OFFICE:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

ON THE DOOR OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ROOM:
If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it.

IN A NORWEGIAN COCKTAIL LOUNGE:
Ladies are requested not to have children at the bar.

AT A BUDAPEST ZOO:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

IN THE OFFICE OF A ROMAN DOCTOR:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

IN AN ACAPULCO HOTEL:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

FROM A JAPANESE INFORMATION BOOKLET ABOUT USING A HOTEL AIR CONDITIONER:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

Man Pushes Wife To Save Himself From A Sinking. But The Reality Is Priceless.

A teacher was tutoring a class of students when she relayed a story about a cruise ship capsized while at sea, and on the ship was a couple that managed to make their way to a lifeboat but realized there was only space for one. You’ll never guess what lesson they learned from the story.

A cruise ship met with an incident at sea. On the ship was a couple, after having made their way to the lifeboat, they realized that there was only space for one person left.

At this moment, the man pushed the woman behind him and jumped onto the lifeboat himself.

The lady stood on the sinking ship and shouted one sentence to her husband.

The teacher stopped and asked, "What do you think she shouted?"

Most of the students excitedly answered, "I hate you! I was blind!"

Now, the teacher noticed a boy who was silent throughout, she got him to answer and he replied, "Teacher, I believe she would have shouted - Take care of our child!"

The teacher was surprised, asking "Have you heard this story before?"

The boy shook his head, "Nope, but that was what my mom told my dad before she died to disease".

The teacher lamented, "The answer is right".

The cruise ship sunk. The man went home and brought up their daughter single-handedly.

Many years later after the death of the man, their daughter found his diary while tidying his belongings.

It turns out that when parents went onto the cruise ship, the mother was already diagnosed with a terminal illness. At the critical moment, the father rushed to the only chance of survival.

He wrote in his diary, "How I wished to sink to the bottom of the ocean with you, but for the sake of our daughter, I can only let you lie forever below the sea alone".

The story is finished, the class was silent.

The teacher knows that the student has understood the moral of the story, that of the good and the evil in the world, there are many complications behind them which are hard to understand.

Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge others without understanding them first.

Those who like to pay the bill, do so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship above money.

Those who take the initiative at work, do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.

Those who apologize first after a fight, do so not because they are wrong but because they value the people around them.

Those who are willing to help you, do so not because they owe you anything but because they see you as a true friend.

Those who often text you, do so not because they have nothing better to do but because you are in their heart.

One day, all of us will get separated from each other; we will miss our conversations of everything and nothing; the dreams that we had. Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare… One day our children will see our pictures and ask “Who are these people?” And we will smile with invisible tears because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say: “It was them that I had the best days of my life with.”